Your first time is NOT supposed to hurt
You are NOT supposed to bleed
If you bleed, that is NOT your hymen being ‘popped’, it is a tear due to lack of sexual arousal and natural lubrication.
This is all a MYTH perpetrated by men so they don’t have to make sure you are comfortable and sufficiently aroused enough before you have sex with them. It is an excuse to disregard and hurt you.
I just really want women to know this.
Okay, this is true and yet not.
The hymen is not supposed to tear. It can tear from being stretched too quickly, but with proper arousal and going in slowly it’ll stretch along with all the other vaginal muscles and should stay relatively intact. However, a tear in the hymen can cause bleeding, although not always. Also, not everyone has a hymen, or they have a wide set one. Not all two hymens are the same so bleeding after first time having sex is sort of on a case by case basis. Especially depending on how wide the penis is relative to the size of the hymen.
As for pain, this is yet another case by case basis. Vaginas are different for everybody, so while some people may have wider set vaginas that can stretch easier, there are also narrower vaginas that may experience discomfort or pain with a large penis. This also goes for the length of the vagina relative to the length of the penis—while the popular mentality is to think that bigger is better, sometimes a 7 inch penis might be too long and can hit the cervix, which does hurt.
"The first time will be painful and you’ll bleed" is certainly not a true blanket statement and cannot be taken as a rule. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen, and if it does it’s not always someone’s fault. The key is education. Take the time to figure out what’s going on down there. This means reading up on how the vagina works, and honestly, taking a look for yourself. I know that sounds weird, but getting to know your body and how your vagina works first hand will give you the ability to know when something is wrong during sex. Knowing it by touch is also invaluable—I don’t necessarily mean masturbation, also that’s cool too. I just mean knowing the physical structure of your own vagina by exploring it. Takes two seconds in the shower.